What to do and what not to do? The first step towards monitoring our emotions

by Pooja Mukherjee
1 comment

Collecting your thoughts together and acting out accordingly is a big task for all of us. We often think of tackling a situation in one way, but as always, it goes unexpected. Our emotions get the best of us, and hours of overthinking and feeling anxious after that do not help as well. With time, I slowly learned to control my emotions. It is not about controlling as much as it is about finding the right moment to blurt it all out. Having overwhelming feelings is not the problem, but expressing it to people who do not deserve to see that side of yours and feeling lost afterward is the actual problem.

People often overlook the importance of emotional awareness. Rather than questioning your thoughts, and why they do not match with your actions, try to understand what you were thinking in the first place. We might make decisions that we regret later, we might fail to control our emotions at the moment, but that moment will come back again, and how we express ourselves the second time is what counts.

How to control negative emotions?

As a prime member of the club of over-thinkers, I know how it feels when you are self-doubting and unable to find answers. Most of the time, I have concluded that maybe I am just assuming things. The scenarios are only in our heads, and even if it isn’t, who cares? If you are tensed about the possibility of something grave, then what is the point of being tense before it even happens? Processing negative emotions is NORMAL, but reacting upon our messed-up thoughts would only make us regret it later.

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Sharing your negative emotions can help, but only if your friend does not turn to be patronizing. Nobody would be able to understand your situation better than yourself. Refrain from conjuring up ideas in the heat of the moment and just calm down. Wait for a reply, an explanation. Weigh the pros and cons of your next step, and question whether it is really worth it. If you value someone, it does not mean that the person will appreciate you as well. Wasting your precious emotions over unimportant people is futile.

How to control emotions at work?

Yes, you missed the deadline. Nobody liked your presentation. Nobody valued you for your contribution. You missed the promotion which you worked hard for. All these scenarios can bring out the worst in us. It is essential to control your emotional reactions in the workplace because you are what you portray. A good first impression can take you places, but a bad one would never be forgotten. The only way out? Work double hard. The other thing which you are going to be remembered about apart from your nature is your work.

Work on yourself, your skills, ambition, and passion, rather than trying to make people like you. You would never be good enough for certain people, and that is OKAY. Be good enough to yourself, your family, friends, and people who matter to you. Be flexible in challenging scenarios, and always give your best. To err is human, and to err is essential at times. It provides us with the opportunity to learn and evolve as a person. We are never going to be how we were in high school. Five years later, it would be a different world.

How to control emotions in love?

A tricky question, I must say. Cannot really comment on love, which is on the verge of break-up, because, come on, this is like the right time to get all your emotions out. So, you can just carry on.

For the rest of us sad, dreary souls out there, who are happy in our potato-relationships (Get the idea), we should be professionals at controlling emotions, shouldn’t we? The frustration just oozes out at times, and no amount of Black currant ice cream can solve that. We often realize that emotions got the better of us, and we said something hurtful in the heat of the moment. We only hurt people we love, eh? Old dialogue, but a true one. We digress from the whole point of argument and say something totally incomprehensible. It is tough to accept our faults and what we did wrong; losing the argument is never the option for anyone.

But I have noticed that like every old Elizabethan drama (Yes, my fellow Literature students, hello), the steep slope of action towards the climax is often fuelled by lack of communication, doubts, disloyalty, and made-up scenarios. So, Shakespeare taught me one thing, “Take it slow.” Now I am not saying to stop arguing, because let us face it, arguments are the essence of any healthy relationships. All I am saying is take more time to put your points forward in an argument. It does not have to end right here, right now, and you do not have to type your well-thought-out comebacks in WhatsApp so fast. 

You can observe that stretching out the argument will slowly lessen its final impact, and you might not have to bear as much damage as you thought you would. Quite around the mid-way, the anger, the fury, the questions, they just fizzle out on their own. Neat trick, eh?

In the end, all these ideas are not going to work if we do not practice over time. Rome was not made in a day, and our brain is definitely not a country. It is a world of its own; we just need the map and set out in our own journey of finding the next clue to happiness. Let me know If you find yours. Till next time.

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1 comment

Amara April 25, 2020 - 4:40 pm

While it may seem breakup is the time to get all feelings out, in some cases it is better not to. For sometimes, even in justified anger, we may end up hurting someone we loved once gravely. However, this is not to say you should repress your emotions. Instead, you should pour your heart out to your trusted friends or journal it. Great content. Keep it up! 🙂

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